H
e a r t S o n s & H e a r t D a u g h t e r s of A l l e n G i n s
b e r g
N
a p a l m H e a l t h S p a : R e p o r t 2 0 1 4 : A r c h i
v e s E d i t i o n
JEFF PONIEWAZ
Point of No Return at Noah’s Ark
"Point
of No Return" TV commercial
between
the News and the Weather
touts
"a skyscraper among waterslides,"
the
new attraction at Noah's Ark
water
park in Wisconsin Dells.
Wisconsin
Dells on the Wisconsin
River,
a gorgeous spot that cried out
to
be the only National Park
in
the state John Muir grew up in
but
was turned into a tourist trap
full
of Indian kitsch souvenir shops.
The
local Indians' weekly ceremonial,
along
with "duck boat" rides through
the
gorgeous gorges in World War II
amphibious
landing craft, attracted
tourists
in the '50s. But Indian
traditionals dancing in rocky outdoor
theater
have since been replaced
by
non-traditional Indian casino
and
Noah's Ark waterpark. Yes,
Noah's
Ark is in Wisconsin Dells,
not
on Mount Ararat. And the dove
better
watch out because an army
of
NRA members has pressured the
DNR
to allow a dove hunting season.
The
"Point of No Return" commercial
camera's
fastened to the head
of
a slider whose bare feet frame
the
fast descent down the waterslide
ending
in a huge splash that looks
mighty
good during a humid heatwave
reported
by the cherubic weatherman
just
after the avuncular anchor reported
Bush
Jr.'s denial of Global Warming.
"Point
of No Return" at Noah's Ark
looks
like fun in commercial that touts
"Ten
stories up, five seconds down."
8/2/01
[Originally
published in NHS 2006, http://www.poetspath.com/napalm/nhs06/Poniewaz.htm.]