N a p a l m H e a l t h S p a : R e p o r t 2 0 0 8
let my bed be cool
grass patch and leaves,
in thinly tree forest.
let the trees be middle-aged
not too old, gnarled, spooky.
at dusk, let my body lay
down to final practice
corpse pose, meditation,
for blessing of heart lama
field of total love,
total kinship there
on the grass.
shallow, still smelling
close dirt earth, still
feeling the thin viscera
thread of existence
flossing my sinew,
preparing to wind out.
may I take my last breath happy
old woman, soul receding,
having left my tribe.
let it be that I don’t kneel
to my children’s gravity pull
if I go first, let my husband
be resolved- we part again.
let my body be at full rest
in last of dimpled sunlight,
welcoming slow release
of final breath weaving.
the crackle stir of small animal
will not distract me,
will not delay me, will not
spring sudden desire turn back,
as lack of new air
puts organs to full stop.
let them seek pause and sink
in lax form collapsing
below my once living.
heat dissipating, blood
pooling, thickened, let my arms,
hands, fingers, legs, feet
curl softly inward, retract
toward center spine axis.
head tilting right for eye-cloud
gaze, twilight blue trees pressing
on to deeper back of night star
chill shine in post-mortem orgasm
peace, willowey signature stain
of last wetness escaping,
into earth channel acceptance.
as earth accepts most offerings,
she welcomes her daughter body home.
we breathe, sharing the inert argon
atoms breathed by all existent and existing.
their shrieks, snorts, yawns, exhalations
bellows of animals, humans, others?
saint’s breath and criminal coughs
martyr whispers and prophet proclamations.
christ on the cross, Shakyamuni at 18,
Mother Theresa Mona Lisa sniffle breath
Charles Manson humming prison breakfast breath
my cousin Mary Francis, my mother, grandmother, great
grandmother and her vapored husband.
dead presidents, holocaust victims, breath of
Appalachian travelers and sherpas trekking
Khombu ice fall, Kalu Rinpoche, Dudjom Rinpoche
their once living breath fills swelling,
living lungs over and over,
gangly monkeys of Swayambhunath,
flute call fauna in Camphuan,
my coworkers, my kid in school, his school mates,
little Jack in daycare, the mutt across the steaming
street Sergio Mendes, Rembrandt Van Rhine,
coufie man putting his baby in car,
El Greco pigment breath permeating
all air breathable and otherwise,
molecules of Pontius Pilot exhausted
thirsty teen in emerald sweatpants,
woman kicking out the Eat Hotdogs Here! sign,
breath of Grandaddy Foltz, Grandaddy Legacy, Uncle Ray,
mother cousin Theresa, ejected from her speeding jeep,
breathing molecules of her last breath,
on the side of whip curve road while good
Samaritan prayer breath and surviving sons’
scream still seat buckled in the upside down.
breathe breath, heart filled pump
this blood breath this live breath of corporate,
conglomerate CEO’s and board members
we share this breath, older man with coffee cup two,
yellow bus driver singer songwriter,
Adelbert Purga my venomous violin teacher
from 6th grade, his wife, their son
all their breath, fearful and hopeful
depressed, schizophrenic, manic alcoholic
drug addicted breath of everyone breathing,
Che Gavarra on dusty wreck,
Chogyam Trunpa arranging flowers in English
suit guy smoking metallic cigarette breath
breathing secondhand, firsthand crazy
yogi lightning bolt breath transmission,
monks serving steaming milk honey chai,
breath of beloved Tharchin Rinpoche,
my own breath 10 years ago,
breath of sex workers and dead poets,
we breathe, we living breathe
extinct dinosaur breath,
broke tooth man breath,
old family dog Rex
cats Moby, Gator, Spooky breath
the mouse that drown in my sink,
the possum, the baby owl
and the thrashed crow buried