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KEVIN HAYES

 
 
 
Angels Fighting With Us

 

    sirens wail over the city as soon as our radar reveals that the death planes are approaching & we immediately scramble to take refuge in our bomb shelters knowing that the enemy has already destroyed all the missiles that had been designed to protect us, knowing that our bomb shelters have already been so battered they will not withstand the latest assault & so we are likely to die in the ruins. . .still, we run to the bomb shelters entertaining the vain hope that they will remain intact enough to keep us safe when the death planes arrive figuring that at the very least our retreat will allow us to cling to a few more moments of terrified existence before we are swallowed by oblivion. . .just before we swing the doors of the bomb shelters shut, we hear the death planes roaring in the sky above us & we hold our breath waiting for them to unleash a rain of bombs down upon the concrete roofs that we do not expect will hold, the concrete roofs that had once been underground but that now have been exposed to the naked eyes of those enemy pilots, the protective earth blasted away by previous bombing runs. . .

    the first strike proves to be enough to break the roof of the bomb shelter I am in wide open, a disaster that knocks me unconscious soon as I realize it has happened because a chunk of falling concrete hits me in my head & when I wake up, the town is silent, the noise of the death planes & their exploding bombs gone. . .I crawl out of the  wreckage that surrounds me on all sides moving cautiously just in case enemy infantry has come to occupy the town refusing to trust that the silence means there is no enemy presence, but at last I realize that the danger has passed over me & left me alive, so I move thru the town more freely inspecting the damage that has been done. . .as I conduct my inspection, I discover that the bombs destroyed the entire town & broke all the bomb shelters open killing all the citizens who had been inside them other than me spared by some perverse mercy to be the only survivor & to inhabit the town alone. . .

    because the town had been so thoroughly decimated, its territory lacked any immediate value to the invaders who had rapidly conquered our nation, a conquest I find out about from the refugees who come to join me fleeing enemy domination once our government has been toppled, refugees who help me to establish our own invisible nation, an establishment that allows us to live in freedom & peace even though we are surrounded by our conquerors since they ignore our existence. . . we labor together using the ruins as the raw material necessary to construct a new town, a town that rewards us for our labor with the knowledge that we have cultivated home from the disaster that had befallen our country, & we live happy until the enemy notices our cultivation & mounts an assault against us unsatisfied by the territory that had already been conquered determined to control everything there is. . .the population of our community numbers 100 because only 99 fugitives managed to escape the net cast by the invaders when they conquered our nation & we anticipated that our enemy would eventually decide to attack us, so we built a wall around the town to help us defend it, a wall that provides us with sanctuary when the inevitable assault comes. . .

    when the enemy lays siege to the walls of our town, they bend but do not break & thus, the battle for our survival becomes a stalemate, a stalemate that I expect will be broken when the death planes return, an expectation I do not mention to my fellow citizens because I do not wish to shadow their last hours, an expectation that is never realized I would guess because our enemy decided there was no need to waste bombs upon us when we soon would use up all our provisions & then could be starved out. . . even when we have eaten all our food, we will not open the gate & surrender as our enemy no doubt assumes that we will preferring instead to die of deprivation stubbornly refusing to fall into the hands of the army that surrounds our walls, a determination that we will not yield even when the enemy communicates to us by radio promising that we will not be harmed if we allow them to take the town & besides, we will be fed. . . hopeless as our situation seems to be, no bribe will convince us to put our faith in the enemy outside our walls when we can pray to the god of liberation who answers us by sending food raining down from heaven & once we have eaten enough to renew our strength, we sit down to plot the strategy we will use to set our nation free from the conqueror that has enslaved it, a strategy we know will succeed when we open up our gate & come bursting thru it to find that we have angels fighting with us right by our  side. . .

  

 

                                 

I Keep On Pushing

 

    so restless that I cannot sleep, I abandon my bed & my house to wander the dark streets at night looking for something unknown trusting that I will be able to recognize it when I find it & that it will bring me the endless joy I crave. . .the world I walk thru seems empty to me, a bleak void that does not promise to yield the mystery treasure I seek, but I nevertheless refuse to give up my odyssey determined to press on despite the possibility of failure, determined to press on until my desire has been satisfied. . .I keep on pushing against despair even though I circle the world 7 times & continue to suffer a blank before my eyes that tempts me to stop dead in my tracks & to confess that my quest has been a failure, a temptation that I resist until the miracle erupts in radiance before me. . .

    the radiance initially blinds me so that I cannot see what waits for me inside it, but I nevertheless begin to feel a surge of ecstasy sensing that I am about to discover the unknown, a discovery that will provide me the knowledge I desire as soon as my eyes adjust to the light. . .when I am able to see once more, I find that the radiance has given sudden birth to all I once knew & then lost, all that had been haunting me fugitive at the edges of my void dreams, all that had disturbed my sleep & sent me out restless to circle the world 7 times & I rush towards the beloved souls that have at last been restored to me fast as my legs will carry me. . .as soon as I reach them, the celebration of our reunion erupts as we join together ecstatic in the marriage of visible & invisible worlds meeting in a territory that exists in the middle, a territory that frees us to dance back & forth between the two, a dance that ignites me intimate with the radiance that had once blinded me. . .

 

 

 

Tonight I Storm The Gates Of Death

 

    tonight I storm the gates of death even though I know the effort will prove futile, even though I know those gates will hold firm against me & frustrate my desire to penetrate them. . .tonight I storm the gates of death because I am driven by the engine of love & so I will not rest content with the end that seems to have come mounting an assault against the gates of death hoping that some miracle will cause them to break wide open before me wanting to recover you & to embrace you once more. . .tonight I storm the gates of death & leap in surprised ecstasy as they crumble to dust clearing the way liberating me to run towards the encounter I so long wanted to know, the encounter that would renew our tender connection cultivating it able to endure forever. . .tonight I storm the gates of death & move beyond them as they die forgetting all about them as if they had never existed, my whole consciousness obsessed with the eternal house of ecstasy I inhabit with you, a house resonant with love abundant enough to satisfy our hunger forever. . .