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Kenny's Bush and Democracy


Asked about the clashes in Egypt on Wednesday, President Bush said he continued to support the moves toward freer presidential elections announced by President Hosni Mubarak. But referring to the beatings of protesters, Mr. Bush said: "The idea of people expressing themselves in opposition to the government and then getting a beating is not - is not our view of how a democracy ought to work."


"But we don't mind it if you boil them to death," he continued. "And we do support torture if it brings freedom to some of the people, at least from our perspective," He added. "And you see here, there's that new oil pipeline through Azerbaijeanee and Something- istan...that pumping sound is the sound of democracy through the tailpipes, people be damned, Yeeehaw!"


The "President" will be speaking tomorrow at a Coalition to Mix Sewage with our Drinking Water conference followed by a luncheon with several Pro-Life groups. Mr. Bush has also invited members from Cut Down Our Forests Now! to the White House later in the week where he'll be signing his "Forest-less Roads Act" which will finally treat all national forests like parking lots. "The 'President' is a big Joni Mitchell fan," Scott McClellan explained at a press conference yesterday. "He's such a big fan that we know everyone she has met this week and what they are plotting." 


Meanwhile, Senator Frist held up a paper exclaiming, "I have a list of known books Mitchell has taken out of the library and books written by people who are friends with the authors who wrote these books.  Believe me, none of these folks will be flying anywhere this year." At this point, Frist looked poignantly at Senator Ted Kennedy.




From Russian With Love


Q: The former head of Russia's oil company, Yukos, was sentenced to nine years in a prison camp today. Do you think the Kremlin went after him because he was a political threat? Are there any repercussions to U.S.-Russian relations as a result of this case?


THE PRESIDENT: I expressed my concerns about the case to President Putin because, as I explained to him, here you're innocent until proven guilty [unless you are a foreigner or if we happen to pick you up anywhere in the world and we're suspicious], and it appeared to us, or at least people in my administration, that it looked like he had been judged guilty prior to having a fair trial [like all the folks in Guantanamo Bay.] In other words, he was put in prison, and then was tried. [Say, why do you suppose they didn't torture him?  I'm sure he would have confessed. ] I think what will be interesting –– and so we've expressed our concerns about the system.


What will be interesting to see is whether or not he appeals –– there's a –– I think we think he is going to appeal [I'm interested because we don't even try them in our system] –– and then, how the appeal will be handled. And so we're watching the ongoing case.  [I knew from the first moment I looked in Putin's eyes....of course there are no repercussions!]


[Imagine arresting an oil baron when you can simply appoint him. I've talked with Vladimir about this but he just doesn't get it.]