NOBLE FLYING LIZARD
Watching Rodan monster movie called Ray-don
in Japanese, high school friend
Richard's laser disk no subtitles
Now I'm nearly 50, he's 52
Back from the hospital where my mother called
me Jack called Richard Jack, we were morphing into an old
business partner of my dead father the hospital morphed into
her condo "let's go into the front room" she said, earlier
asking my sister "have you ever had a cadaver inserted in
you?" she meant catheter
or maybe not
- next day she
said "Hello Marc-o" lucid again, a relief I went to the tattoo
parlor in Venice, I wanted a red samurai crest, remembering
my mother's ass, flank, her fur where the catheter was indeed
inserted, flashing all this as she flipped in the bed, how
young for 83 in those brief flashes the Asian girly pictures
that decorated Richard's computer room flickering recent memory,
her legs just as hairless, Native American blood (though elbow
skin waxy, toes flaking)
first time I saw that patch I was afraid
of it a tarantula later seen through night gown sexy &
evil now strangely charming even with yellow urine tube same
where I came though a different hole same hospital where Richard
was born though I was born 3000 miles from her from here the
island called Long in New York
I wanted a warrior's tattoo, soon an orphan
soon alone but Tabu Tattoo couldn't see me for an hour and
a half — I had a plane to catch - Richard's eyes said
"get it when you come back for the funeral" — "What a
thought!" I told him, but it was a good idea
Now into the dusk sky I am Ray-don the noble
flying monster orange-lit ocean sunlight winking on car roofs
below I thought were beach bonfires
I'll probably never see her again my lama
will do a ceremony at her death but at least she said "Marc-o"
and she held up her hand & said "Peace" the rainbow curtain
around her bed peeled back, rainbow body waiting
8/24/03 Los Angeles
DIE ALL THE TIME
I.
Today I realized the teenage girl
striking in black scarf
was probably getting chemo
so much like my baby sister
dead 23 years
yet I choked back tears
heart's bright wound
still burning
II.
I buy childhood comics on line
GORGO the giant lizard
KONGA the giant ape
read when I was 7 -
my mother now slips away no memory of me
at all
III.
I bought FAMOUS MONSTERS also read pre-teen
& now I'll be 50
Actors that I grew up watching
die all the time
I bought DIARY OF A MADMAN cheap Vincent
Price tape my actor dad has big scene with him — movie
not even on DVD, companion to my TWILIGHT ZONE "To Serve Man"
father scientist, TOUCH OF MINK where exasperated Dad has
a scene with Cary Grant — my Dad Price Grant all dust
— will I lose my mind on hospital death bed dream I'm
reading GORGO with eyes open? at least without non-virtue
& when the faulty body falls away Big Mind returns but
for us left behind death is cruelest what it steals in pieces
9/24/03
FUNERAL TATTOO
It took 2 visits - red samurai crest then
the Japanese kanji -
my mother died between them
& when that tattoo was finally down
raw
burning
looked in the mirror & saw
a crazed 'Nam vet
a Navy S.E.A.L. lunatic who wore the ears
of his enemies —
fit my mood
for her grave -
on me
'til mine
TALES FROM THE CRYPT
Near the Chinese woman w/ "my best lover"
plaque
my mother is interred
the velvet curtain splashed w/ holy water
pulled back to show 6 shelves, 5 filled,
one waiting
for the brown cardboard box
mom's ashes —
The Latino in orange hard hat
bored
lifts it in,
caulks the plastic square cover in place,
screws on the marble panel
without Catholic ceremony -
Suzi my wife, Richard old friend,
we stayed behind and did Tibetan Chöd,
the offering of self as feast,
I saw a spirit,
then the mental patient stepson
& nutty friend in yarmulke also drawn
back -
In the car we listened to more Marilyn Manson
& went to lunch
passing a street named Gothic
& movie poster bus stop
"Tomb w/ A View"